the night is long, stand by me
by cosmicac
Summary: Breathing to the rhythm of the ocean, Azula let the rage inside her flow out into a brilliant meteor storm of blue, cutting the stars in the night sky. Azula can't sleep, so she trains, and Ty Lee watches. Takes place after Book 3, episode 5 (The Beach).


Azula couldn't sleep, again. Stepping out from Ozai's beach house, she was struck by the beauty of the tropical nights on Ember Island. The stars were closer here - they were taunting her, tempting her to reach out and steal them from their midnight perch.

The nightmares had been increasing in quantity recently. She could sense her hyperactive mind coiling in the periphery of her thoughts, waiting to pounce, to strangle herself with thoughts like _you're not strong enough_ , _you're not focused enough_ , _you don't deserve Father's admiration_. Her weakness had culminated during the campfire, when she had talked about _her_. Thinking about it gave her a vague impulse to retch.

Azula walked down the beach toward a hidden alcove that she remembered training in as a child. The constant chirping of the strange frogs on the island echoed through the night. Mai had complained that their cries made it difficult to sleep, but Azula welcomed them; the white noise drowned out her mind's voice. The rough black sand of the beach cut into her soles and made her feel alive.

She thought back to the party, about how out of place she felt among the carefree festiviites of others her age. She recalled how empty Chan's kiss felt, and the swift rage inside her when he ran away. Most of all, she loathed the small part of her that envied the other teenagers - the part of her that quietly asked what was wrong with her, that thought maybe it didn't have to be this way, that dared wonder if she had missed something that couldn't be recovered.

Azula closed her eyes and began to structure her breaths. _Focus_ , she told herself. The others are weak willed and inept. They will spend their entire lives loafing around, flailing about in a futile race for meaning. _You are destined for greatness. You will one day rule over all the land in the Fire Nation, and perhaps the world_ , she heard her father's voice intone in the depths of her mind.

Breathing to the rhythm of the ocean, Azula let the rage inside her flow out into a brilliant meteor storm of blue, cutting the stars in the night sky.

* * *

Azula couldn't sleep again - Ty Lee always knew. This had become a regular occurence. Each time, Ty Lee would leave her tent and find Azula practicing. Each time, Azula claims that the Fire Nation has no time for her to sleep.

Ty Lee followed the flashes of blue, and found herself looking into a rocky cove. Azula was a whirlwind of fire and furor. Ty Lee was transfixed as always; her eyes followed Azula's every practiced movement. People called her a prodigy, but Ty Lee knew better. Every precise jet of flame that hit on target was the result of a thousand missed, every perfect landing was born from ten thousand bruises. Seeing Azula in her natural form, focused, poised - it took Ty Lee's breath away, every time.

Ty Lee remembered when Azula had come to her circus troupe. It was like a gale of wind had run through her, toppling Ty Lee's meticulously constructed tower of matchsticks that was her new life. She had felt it all come rushing back - the steel in Azula's voice, the flare of her cheekbones, the black currant drifting from her hair. She had denied Azula at first by stating that she was satisfied with her new life, but she knew that she would not be able to resist.

There was something different about Azula here, on Ember Island. The summer heat had stripped her of her usual armor, giving Ty Lee precious glimpses at the girl underneath. Azula had seemingly expressed genuine interest in getting along with others at Chan's party, despite how everything had turned out. Then, there was the campfire. It had stung not so much when Zuko called her a circus freak, but when Azula laughed at it. Yet, to her own surprise, her anger had instantly melted away when Azula confessed about her mother. Usually unyielding, Ty Lee had been shocked at how vulnerable her downcast, glassy eyes had been.

"Ty Lee. I know you're there."

"Oh - sorry!" Startled, Ty Lee stared dumbly back at Azula's piercing gaze. "I noticed you weren't asleep."

Azula sighed. "I've told you before. I like to train at night."

Ty Lee stepped out onto the black sand. A translucent layer of sweat shone over Azula's pale skin as the moonlight illuminated her features. She was a ghost. Ty Lee had an urge to reach out and touch her, to confirm that she was actually there.

"Azula, can I watch you?" Ty Lee felt bad for interrupting Azula's session.

Azula gave a terse nod.

* * *

Azula's body automatically flowed through her routine perfectly, but her mind was on Ty Lee.

Azula hated thinking about Ty Lee. She was a virus taking root in Azula's mind. The girl was weakness personified. She lived in a perpetually lush orchard with rosy apples ripe for the picking, but Azula saw the snakes in the trees. The acrobat wore her emotions on her face. Her eyes widened like a child seeing fresh baked tarts, she laughed like she didn't have a care in the world, and she danced like the day would never end. She was the sun; she blinded Azula.

Truth be told, Azula wasn't too sure why she had pried Ty Lee from the circus. She remembered waking up in a cold sweat, her sheets strewn beside her bed, the winter wind flooding through her window and chilling her to the bone. A memory of Ty Lee had seeded itself in her mind then; Azula saw Ty Lee's bright eyes smiling back at her, warming her, stirring the fire latent in her veins. At that moment, Azula would have done anything to see those eyes again.

Ty Lee had matured into a striking young woman, but her eyes remained the same. Looking at them brought Azula back to when they chased ducks around the gardens and teased Zuko. Learning to fire-bend had been sheer joy then. On their family vacations, she would train on this very beach, discovering the fire within her plume by plume, jumping and kicking with wild abandon instead of the ruthless efficiency of the present. She missed that freedom sometimes, the freedom still in Ty Lee's eyes.

But, Azula needed to be strong. She was the fire nation's greatest weapon and it was her duty and her birthright to keep herself primed. A fire lord should not be distracted by excess feelings - her mind needed to be lean and focused. She despised how Ty Lee dulled her; she hated how her heart ached with regret after laughing at Zuko calling Ty Lee a circus freak.

Azula finished her training set and just stood on the beach, watching the waves crash in. Training on nights like these had a meditative effect on her. She felt a sense of depth and purpose echo through her body.

"It's calming to watch the ocean, isn't it?"

Azula looked at Ty Lee, who had appeared beside her. Her hair wasn't braided as usual, but tumbled down her back. The moon was in her eyes, it's soft glow pulling Azula in.

"When I see the ocean, I see a vast reservoir of energy that I can't tap into." It was true, Azula had always felt envy for waterbenders near the ocean.

"But that's what so great about it! Well, I suppose it's different for me, since I'm not a bender. To me, the ocean is so big that it reminds me that I'm small. It'll still be here, you know." An ocean breeze lifted Ty Lee's hair as she turned to look at Azula. "After I die. After you die."

Azula turned to meet Ty Lee's gaze. "You know, you're not as stupid as you act sometimes."

"I'll take that as a compliment, coming from you." Ty lee smiled.

The moment stretched into the silver horizon, waves massaging the black sand beneath Azula's feet, eroding the pebbles that dug into her soles and loosening her stance, her connection to the earth.

"Ty Lee."

"Yes, Azula?"

"I'm sorry for laughing when Zuko called you a circus freak."

Ty Lee laughed softly. "I won't lie, Azula, I was hurt. You don't know how happy I am now that you're apologizing, though."

"Good. Don't count on it happening again." Azula couldn't help but feel a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.

A warm set of fingers cradled around Azula's. Her body tensed at the foreign touch, before relaxing and allowing Ty Lee's warmth to resonate through her.

"'Zula, you know I'm always here for you right?"

Looking into the acrobat's eyes, Azula allowed herself to believe it. A wave of weariness washed over her. She closed her eyes and became an album of senses - smelling the tender summer night, hearing the gentle roar of the ocean, feeling the bloom of Ty Lee's fingers.


End file.
